Have You Met My Nemesis? GLUTEN!

I have suffered from food allergies ever since I was born!  So much so that when I was a toddler, I looked like one of those starving African babies with the swollen stomach and tiny limbs.  I was literally allergic to EVERYTHING I ate and therefore had malnutrition.  My bones and teeth started to deteriorate.  Thus began my love/hate relationship with Gluten.

My mom always tried her best to make my food "normal" but I knew I was being deprived.  This deep routed feeling devoid of certain foods festered for years.  When I went to college and moved out on my own I felt a sense of food freedom.  I ate anything and everything that I had been restricted from.  And of course I gained a ton of weight and felt very ill.  

So we all know where this story is going, right?  I had Lyme all this time and we all know that Gluten is a NO-NO when you are fighting Lyme.  I have to say...and I know how ridiculous this sounds....trying to stay Gluten-free is the WORST part of having Lyme!  I'm crazy, right?!  I have episodes where I literally gasp for air for hours and I am in such intense pain I have to take medication to "knock me out."  But to me, the DAILY struggle  to give up Gluten is agonizing!  You would think it would be so easy because it gives me such terrible symptoms and I wouldn't want to feel that way, but because my food intake has been controlled since birth, I have serious emotional issues when it comes to restricting my diet.  

Food is a social outlet for me.  I love to cook for people (when I am feeling well) and I love to go out to dinner.  I get so angry when doctors or family members tell me that I am not going to feel good if I eat that bread stick!  I know this, but it's almost as if it causes me more emotional pain to watch other people get to eat whatever they want without me then the symptoms I will have from eating the Gluten.  Am I alone in this feeling?  Am I just a crazy kookaburra????  I probably need some intense therapy but hey....at least I've made the first step and admitted that my name is Sarah, and I am addicted to Gluten!

It is bad enough that I have a debilitating disease, but the fact that I have to restrict my diet also just kills me! And the icing on the cake is that when I do get all motivated to go Gluten-free, the gluten-free food is so damn expensive that I can't afford it because I am paying an arm and a leg to get treatment for Lyme Disease that insurance won't pay for!  Whew!  That was a mouthful!  Then I get angry at the whole situation again and the cycle continues :( 

With all that glutenygobblygook out there now, I will end with my "Make Margaritas" Inspiration for today: