Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Health and Intellect are the 2 Blessings of Life

When I first got diagnosed with Babesia I thought...this really sucks!  Well, Babesia just slapped me in the face and said, "You silly girl!  You ain't seen nothing yet!"  Ever since Christmas, I have taken a turn for the worse.  I seriously thought I was beginning to go crazy!  I started to become highly emotional, crying at the drop of a hat for no particular reason, and everyday it got increasingly worse.  Then I started having days where my brain just wasn't functioning.  I couldn't complete a thought, I was dizzy, I lost the ability to drive, I had a dull headache all the time, I was nauseous, and sometimes I felt completely drunk even though I had not had a drop of alcohol!  Luckily I had a doctor's appointment scheduled with my Lyme doc and she explained what was happening.  Apparently, my Babesia has reached a critical point and is beginning to die off which is causing me to have Hypoxia (deprivation of oxygen to the brain).  Therefore, I am NOT going crazy!  However, it does mean that my world has been flipped upside down.  I am no longer able to work and I have to go in for IV therapy of Zithromax and Antioxidants 2x week.  This is causing all kinds of stressors that I am not handling very well despite everything else.  With having to take unpaid medical leave for 3 months, how am I going to pay my bills?  How do the rest of you do this?  Applying for disability can take up to 2 years to get approved!!!  So many things are up in the air and not knowing where I am going to get money from is killing me slowly.  I break down crying multiple times a day over this and the frustration of not having a fully functional brain right now.  The fatigue is so extreme right now I cry because I'm so tired.  So, basically everything makes me cry right now.  I just feel like a big, fat mess!

BUT....I've defeated Lyme and I can defeat Babesia too!  So here is my "Make Margaritas" inspiration for today:
From the bitterness of disease man learns the sweetness of health.
       - Catalan Proverb

There is a lesson to be learned from illness and although I haven't quite figured out my personal lesson yet, I will be grateful for the wisdom gained! :)


  1. I'm so sorry you are going through this! I love your "make margaritas" quotes. I've had Lyme disease for almost a year and have been blogging about it to hel spread awareness. It's awful, but sharing my experience with others has really helped! Feel free to stop by! http://www.cosmomomwithatwistoflyme.com

    Hang in there!

  2. Sarah, Plain and simple: This Sucks. I am totally empathizing with you right now. I too have had to leave my job. I am lucky enough to be living with my mother, so I don't have to pay rent, but I am rapidly going through my savings to keep up with bills like cell phone, car insurance, books for my classes, tuition, etc. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do when it's gone. But staying positive is the name of the game. I love your little inspirations at the end. As they say, God will provide. I will keep praying for you and your struggles.