When things are infuriating and out of your control, you have two choices:
1. Give in to the fear and insanity, cry your eyes out, have a full blown panic attack, and then hide under your covers forever...
2. When you are done with choice #1, (haha) you make the decision to take all that anger and let it motivate you to make a change.
I wish I could elaborate on my situation more, and hopefully in a future post I can, but just know I am done with choice #1. I am praying that God leads me to the purpose behind this terrible situation so that I can help others. If you find it in your heart, please join me in praying that I find the meaning in the madness. Thank you!
On to better news, I saw my LLMD recently and she said my blood work was PERFECT! This is the first time that my CO2 level was normal!!! This means that I am no longer hypoxic! I can definitely feel the difference. We are still waiting on the results of my ECP test (Babesia level) but she said that the fact that my CO2 level is normal is a good indicator that my Babesia is either low or gone! Oh how I pray that it is GONE! But she said something very important in my appointment that I was glad that she said in front of my husband. If it turns out that my Babesia is gone, it will still take 1-2 years for me to completely recover. Babesia is a serious disease that has reeked havoc on my body for over a year. Just like any other damage to your body, it takes time to for the body to heal. This is a good reminder for me as I start to feel better that I need to take it easy and not push myself too hard. When we have good days we often want to take advantage of that and push our bodies to the limit. Then of course we pay for it for days afterwards. Baby steps!
If I am free of Babesia, I still have a ways to go to get my life back. Right now I am focusing on getting my circadian rhythm back on the right track. Being in the right sleep pattern is SO important! I'll say it again...baby steps! I won't deny that the path to recovery is LONG and painful, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
So, my "Make Margaritas" inspiration for today is:
"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy- I'm telling you it's going to be worth it." ~Art Williams